Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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