Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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