I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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