So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
