Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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