We won't sleep together?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
