Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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