We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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