I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
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He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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