That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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