Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
