The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
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Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
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they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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