I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I love you.
Bad choice
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