yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
