Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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