i barfeds in our rink
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
