her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
