question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
