We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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