Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
