Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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