Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
