she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
