I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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