I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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