Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize