so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Randomize
