I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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