i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
