dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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