You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
