The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize