I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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