R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
