I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
