worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
