Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
