hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
