I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
