We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
