i can't believe i had my finger in that
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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