Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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