Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
