Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
