White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
