you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
