The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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