Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
