I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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