There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
