Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
