Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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