he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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