loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
