i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
