This girl is more easily done than said...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
