Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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